Am I a fraud?

 A while ago I was in Warsaw, visiting my friends. They organised a small party in their apartment and I had a chance to meet a lot of new, interesting people, finally not only a linguists. At some point we started to talk about our talents and abilities and for some reason, they decided to compliment me because of my language skills. And you need to know that I handle compliment rather badly. I just don’t believe someone may really think that positively about me. So they were like: “Wow, four foreign languages? You must be really talented” or “How is that you handle two faculties and work? You must be super talented”. All my answers for their words were the same: “No, it was luck”, “I’m not really talented”, “I’m not really good at all that, it just seems that way” and I started to feel really uncomfortable. Even to the point that I had a difficulty in breathing. And then one of the girls, that had a degree in psychology, said out loud: “Anna is a classic case of Impostor Syndrome. Can I examine your case, Honey?” and we all laughed at that to relieve the tension. But her words stuck in my head and I needed to read about that “impostor syndrome”.

      What is that weird psychological term? Impostor syndrome (pl. Syndrom Oszusta) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud". Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved. People with that syndrome often feel like they don’t belong in the place they’re currently in, that they don’t deserve their job and accomplishments. They think people around them will finally discover that it’s all fraud.

In 1978, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes carried out an experiment on a group of high-ranking women of success. The results were devastating. Many of them believed that they owe their achievements only to a luck. That others do not realize their incompetence. They believed that their colleagues opinions about them were too good and that at some point the truth would be exposed.

An estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives, according to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science. Impostor syndrome affects all kinds of people from all parts of life: women, men, medical students, marketing managers, actors and executives. That syndrome may be accompanied with stress, depression and anxiety and people suffering from it often have thoughts like: “I’m a fraud. I must not fail. I just got lucky”. For individuals with impostor phenomenon, feelings of guilt often result in a fear of success. The following are examples of common ideas, and statements that lead to feelings of guilt, and reinforce the phenomenon.  

1)The good education they were able to receive

2) Being acknowledged by others for life success

3) Belief that it is not right or fair to be in a better situation than a friend or loved one

4) Being referred to as: "The smart one", "The talented one","The responsible one", "The sensitive one", "The good one". (source: Wikipedia)

 Why do people experience impostor syndrome? There’s no single answer. Some experts believe it has to do with personality traits—like anxiety or neuroticism—while others focus on family or behavioral causes. Sometimes childhood memories, such as feeling that your grades were never good enough for your parents or that your siblings outshone you in certain areas, can leave a lasting impact. “People often internalize these ideas: that in order to be loved or be lovable, ‘I need to achieve. It becomes a self-perpetuating cycle” says Ervin psychologist Audrey Ervin in an interview for Times.

           After reading a lot of interviews and articles about this particular phenomenon, even if I tried to deny it, I had to admit that this is the truth. For as long as I remember my mom was nagging me about that “I’m stupid, I don’t deserve all that” behaviour.  And even now, knowing that I work hard and I do my best, I still hear that little voice saying: you’re fake. But knowledge about Imposter Syndrome made me more aware and I think I handle my accomplishments a little better than before. I wish more people heard about that phenomenon and stopped underestimating themselves. If you read it and someone you know pops up in the back of your mind, show them articles about syndrome I wrote about. Maybe that’s the key to make him or her feel a little better and take a weight off their shoulders.